A New Musical Comedy in One Act

Music and Lyrics by Jamie Lawrence

Book by Gillian Eames

Additional lyrics by Gary Forman*

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The show is about an extended family, the Starrs. It opens in the Starrs's home where Nick, 5 years old, is telling his one-year-old sister, Lil Sis, and JJ, his two-year-old brother, what he wants the next morning  for his sixth birthday: A DOG! Meanwhile Audrey, their 14-year-old sister, is battling it out with their father for bathroom privileges.

I Want a Dog


Suddenly the phone rings. It’s Grandma, saying Grandpa, a famous songwriter, is sick with Scanopadeecephalimm! She insists that he is in critical condition and the whole family must hurry up to visit him, no matter what.


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Carmen, the mom, panics and demands that everyone drop everything and jump into the car. She disappears out the door in a panic. Meanwhile the family rebels...

Bad Mood Mom


Once in the car everyone gets along great….

Are We There Yet*


Audrey is upset because she is seriously crushing on a Spanish exchange student, Jose, who won't give her the time of day. She was hoping to hang with him in their shared math class. As she sends him another text, Carmen and George (Dad) advise her to be a little less aggressive.

Hard to Get


The family has made it to Uncle Lenny and Aunt Bea's house where they plan to pick them up and bring them along. Uncle Lenny is a fun uncle but of dubious character and Aunt Bea is an amateur painter who brings her paints everywhere.

Uncle Lenny*


There is a small problem. In all the commotion, Little Sis and JJ are accidentally left behind in the front yard with nothing but Dad's wallet, which light-fingered Lil Sis has successfully swiped, and a full picnic basket. JJ glories in his newfound freedom.

I'm Terrible


Cut back to the car, where the family is a wee bit tense...

Are We There Yet -- Reprise


Yup, those are sirens, George is stopped for speeding and the traffic cop happens to be Joey Pescatore, an old flame of Carmen's. When George reists, he is carted off by Joey for speeding, driving without a license and abandoning his children. Where are those kids? Carmen freaks out and races off to find JJ and Sis. Meanwhile back at Uncle Lenny's house, JJ is done with his bout of independence -- his baby sister is driving him crazy!

Little Sister

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Meanwhile,  back in the county jail George is throwing a fit behind bars. Surprisingly he discovers that all the cops are also dads with tweens at home and eventually they band together to become a beautiful barbershop quartet.

Rather Be a Father


Once JJ and Little Sis are safely back in the car, the family zooms back to prison to bail out George. Nick is obsessed with dogs--and in particular the one he hopes to get for his birthday--but the family tries to lower his expectations.

Birthday Parties Always End in Tears


Joey is happy to release George, but Audrey is as grumpy as a cat in a pond over the collapse of her romantic plans and the sudden car trip to her grandparents. She insists on going home. The cops try to set her straight.

Be Nice to Old People


Audrey wanders outside the police station feeling blue and finally pays some attention to her baby sister who until then she has studiously ignored. Lil Sis makes her feel better by giving her pictures she has made with Aunt Bea's paints.



The whole family finally arrives at Grandpa's. They find him at the piano, unable to rhyme, shocking for a songwriter. His Scanopadeecephalimm seems to be getting worse! However it turns out that this whole plan has been a ruse -- Grandpa is fine. He and Grandma found the cutest dog in the world abandoned in the streets and are giving him to Nick for his birthday. A happy end to a long day!

I'm Six


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